The Social Climber's Bible: A Book of Manners, Practical Tips, and Spiritual Advice forthe Upwardly Mobile by Dirk Wittenborn

Author:Dirk Wittenborn [Wittenborn, Dirk]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 978-0698141902
Publisher: Penguin Group US
Published: 2014-11-04T05:00:00+00:00

A wedding is not an opportunity for you to show off how well you’re doing to the friends and family you left behind when you started social climbing. You can convey this information in a Christmas card that features an envy-inspiring photo of you and your spouse frolicking exotically on your honeymoon. If for sentimental reasons you feel obliged to send invitations to embarrassing siblings, parents, etc., hold the wedding in a foreign country so that you can be sure they won’t be able to afford to attend.

WARNING

Those who have signed a prenup and whose more financially well-endowed fiancé lobbies for a dream wedding in an exotic locale, beware! For example, having a Buddhist priest perform the ceremony in a Balinese temple is definitely romantic. Unfortunately, when you return to the United States, unless you have a legally binding certificate to go with that Buddhist priest’s blessing, you will not be legally wed and the prenup you worked so hard to negotiate will be of no value. It is the poorer spouse’s responsibility to check with legal authorities to make sure that when your slippery Big Fish says “I do,” he or she will still be on the hook when you get back to the United States.

Likewise, for those who have signed a prenup, if something untoward occurs in the course of the prewedding festivities, say your wife-to-be has sex with one of the male strippers at her bachelorette party, or your husband-to-be insists on inviting all his ex-wives, do not call off the wedding, especially if someone else is paying for it. Make as many new friends as possible and get even by making out with the cute groomsman or hot bridesmaid and fantasize about them when you have sex with your spouse on the honeymoon.

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